Nationals Baseball: Have you seen me

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Have you seen me

An equation for future reference :

Selling house + travel for work = blog death.

I'll be back tomorrow but here are some quick grades for the Nats because that seems like something everyone is doing that's fun.

Zimmermann : A+
Gio : A
Strasburg : A, but it's not in a course that counts for college credit
Storen : Got a C-, but father is petitioning school board for review. 
Espinosa : Failing, sent to repeat previous grade.
Werth : B-, and costing the school a fortune in special lunches.
Bryce : B+, but come on he's a 12 year old senior.
Tyler Moore : Politely asked to attend vocational school  
Lombardozzi : E for Eckstien. Also because he deserves between a D- and an F.
H-Rod : Flunked out. 
Ramos : B+, has to come in on Saturday's the rest of the year to make up for absences.
Clippard : A+? Wait this guy is finishing as salutatorian? (1.99 ERA, 0.91 WHIP)


Chaz R said...

HAH! That is hilarious Harper. I didn't know you had a comedy background- ?!

What grade would you give Davey?

Strasburger said...

Can we get the rest of the players, please?

Anonymous said...

So wait, how much longer does this blog have? I cant continue to get emotionally invested in this thing if i'm going to be left high and dry.

JonQuest said...

Harper, an equation for future reference:

"blog death" = devoted reader panic

BTW, I think Soriano deserves at least a B with some special consideration as a transfer student

Kenny B. said...

"Strasburg : A, but it's not in a course that counts for college credit"

This kind of cleverness is what keeps bringing me back.

Some of my own attempts at this humor:

Haren: F, with hope for at least a passing grade following some remedial tutoring.

Rendon: A+, with some suspicion that he may be cheating.

Stammen: B, but forgivable since he's done a lot of Haren's homework in addition to his own.

Desmond: A, which serves as confirmation that last year's grades did not result from cheating.

Harper said...

Chaz - Honest grade would be a C-. Outside of a love of Lombo, he's run the team pretty much as I imagine anyone would. It's just that he wasn't given the depth to cope with injuries/failures. For me though a manager ranges from D to B really. So factor that in

Strasburger -Sorry, my initial head of steam wore out and life was calling

Anon - rough guess would be about 50 or so years.

JQ - noted.

Soriano is a B+ but keeps getting detention for dress code violations. UNTUCK CURSE LIVES! (note : no it doesn't.)